Technology is brilliant. As a species we’ve produced some pretty incredible things: the Internet, smartphones and robots are just a few innovations that spring to mind. Why is it then, that some devices are lagging so far behind that they seem like they were conceived in the Stone Age? The focus of my rant is very particular: printers. Why are they so utterly rubbish?It seems to me that the union between people and printers is not a happy one. In fact, printers bear more than a passing resemblance to that boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife that you wish you’d never had: they’re unreliable, they’re high-maintenance and they have annoying habits.
They’re Unreliable
If you send something to print which is not particularly important, your printer will undoubtedly work beautifully. The entire process, from clicking the icon in your word processor to collecting the warm, freshly-inked pages, will be effortless.
If, however, you are unlucky enough to be in the possession of a digital document which is in any way important, you’re in trouble. It may be that report which you promised would be submitted last Tuesday, or that image for that client who’s due to arrive in 2 minutes for a pitch meeting. Whatever the case, the printer is bound - as if by some ancient pact - to play up.
“Load more paper! Add more Cyan ink! Fix the jammed pages!” It will scream at you (through the medium of flashing warning lights and error messages). And that’s if it reacts at all. More often than not it will sit motionless as a brick wall, refusing to acknowledge a print request has been sent let alone actually doing some printing.
They’re High-Maintenance
The act of loading new cartridges is pretty tricky, and sometimes downright dangerous. I almost lost my finger at home the other day when the print head decided to shoot across while my fingers were struggling with the loading mechanism.
Even if you find the changing process hassle free, however, you can’t deny that the cartridges are expensive. I dread to think how much I’ve spent on them over the course of my lifetime.
If your partner was this high maintenance, you’d almost certainly be one step away from showing them the door. And I haven’t even mentioned ink spills...
They Have Annoying Habits
In fact, the printer in the Organic Development office recently developed a particularly hair-tearing one.
After each individual sheet of A4 paper printed, the ‘out of paper’ light turned on, despite the fact that there were at least 500 sheets loaded. After some tinkering, we found out that by sliding the paper tray out and back in after a page was printed, we could then print another page. This effectively reduced our widely loathed Dell 1320c to the same level of functionality as a pump-action shotgun (without the shooting bit). Not ideal in a busy office.
So what can we do about it?
Not much but sit and wait.
I long for the day when a new breed of printer is sold to the masses. I don’t care if it has a touch screen display or an integrated router. I just want it to WORK!
Until then, I can only take comfort in the fact that I’m not alone:
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